The Descendant - who others are to us | The Main Axes Part 2
- Why we always end up in the same relationship patterns
What even is the Descendant?
The Descendant is the exact opposite to our Ascendant, which we discussed last time. This time, it's not about how others see us, but about how we see others.
What are our patterns when it comes to relationships and friendships? What habits do we keep falling back into and what do we actually want from a partner? All of these are questions that the Descendant can shed light on.
Technically, the Descendant is the sign that is descending on the western side of the horizon (hence it's called the descending sign - descendere in Latin = descending). At the moment the horoscope (or we) is born, a sign rises over the horizon in the east and a sign descends automatically on the western side. In the chart, the zodiac is like a rotating disc in the sky. These two axis points are always opposite each other by 180°. With this knowledge, we can easily determine the DC sign without having to calculate a whole chart.
Its significance in day-to-day life
In "The Main Axes Part 1" we dealt with the Ascendant. Today we are looking at its partner and thus also our partners: the Descendant. If we think back we’ll remember that the AC was about the self, about my appearance and my pure, unfiltered essence. Here we can remind ourselves:
The AC is the I and the DC is the You.
Today we are talking about how we encounter others. Because the Descendant can provide a lot of information about how we perceive other people, what we generally expect from a relationship, how we behave in one and also what kind of people we keep attracting. It is important to note that the word "relationship" refers to any kind of relationship, not just romantic ones, but also friendships and professional encounters.
Whether one wants to consider the Ascendant and Descendant a pair or opponents is a matter of taste, but it is important to recognize that both are parts of our own chart and therefore parts of us. This must be taken into account, because our birth horoscope can only describe our own feelings.
As I mentioned last time, it is generally known that we humans judge people within the first few seconds of seeing them for the first time and decide whether we want to have a conversation with them or not. As an astrologer, I like to believe that every time this happens, we unconsciously perform a small compatibility test in our heads.
It doesn't matter if you can't consciously name an Aquarius if you see one on the street, but I'm pretty unconsciously we can. Maybe not with the vocabulary we are using here today, but in this manner.
It is no secret that we are attracted to specific people and also attract a certain type of people. When we look at the corresponding horoscopes, it often becomes clear where the cause lies. Our birth chart is like a small map of our soul, it tells us what we like, what we are interested in and also what we have a dislinking towards. This pattern also applies when it comes to potential friends or partners. Even if we cannot see the entire personality of our counterpart at first glance, an initial attraction is often a sign that the person in front of us corresponds to what we are looking for and - most importantly - what we know.
Here, of course, one can go on and track down all relationships and friendships that one has had in their life. Were there any similarities between those people? A pattern that kept recurring? Maybe even in the form of a moon or sun sign?
Here, as with the Ascendant, it is important to note that the Descendant is only the tip of the 7th house (in most house systems). So to fully understand one's preferences and patterns, the entire 7th house and planets in close proximity to the Descendant must be included in the interpretation.
In this case the Decendant falls into the sign of Capricorn. A planet we should also consider for the interpretation of the DC is in this case Pluto because it falls into the 7. house. Like this you could almost interpret this Decendant as a mixture of Capricorn and Scorpio.
Examples
The most important factors in a partnership analysis are the Descendant and the elements. If you are strongly earthy, other earth signs will be more likely to be attracted to you and vice versa. It is also interesting to know that earth and water are the Yin elements, so they naturally go well together, while fire and air signs form the Yang elements and prefer each other (since this usually means that the relationship will be less of a challenge).
It is also important to note that just because a person's sun sign is in a certain element or sign, that this is not necessarily the area where their emphasis lies. As mentioned before, one could have their sun in Cancer and all other planets in Leo. Then it would make sense why the person may not identify so much with the Cancer archetype and is also more drawn to other fire signs.
This can actually be observed best in music groups. It doesn't necessarily have to be musicians, but the concept of a group of people, each of whom is equally known to the fan - over a screen - and who all do more or less the same thing. Although each member obviously has a completely different personality, fans choose their favorite based on appearance or talent, but most importantly based on their own (unconscious) preference.
This often goes beyond the simple question of blond or brunette and more into the direction of: What feeling does this person evoke in me? What impression do they give me? We not only compare ourselves to the personality of our counterpart, but also compare them to what we want in a friend- or relationship. This obviously works especially well with people that we do not know personally. Like this a few superficial complimenatry qualities are enough for us to develop a liking towards them and complete their personality in our head to our own liking. As easy as that, our “idol” is born.
This is especially interesting because each fan will choose a different favorite, even though everybody has the same information about that person. This also happens when we watch movies or read a book. We experience a character (each of us differently, yet objectively we all witness the same actions and choices) and within seconds the same thing happens to us as in real life: we choose with whom we want to spend our time with and who we want to show interest in.
Of course, this is not a groundbreaking discovery, since there have always been favorite colors and general personal preferences. Here, I just want to explain the connection to astrology and use its help to explain that this does not always have to be a coincidence.
relationship styles and partner choices
Often it is important to be aware of our own patterns, not necessarily to change them, but simply to take a closer look and not feel like we are a victim to our own life and choices. Especially if we want to recognize the connection between childhood experiences and current behavioral patterns, self-awareness and analyzing our unconscious behavior is essential.
In this case, the question is: what energy am I sending out and what am I getting back because of it? Whether you experience these patterns through your partner or bring them into the relationship yourself often varies from person to person.
Fire: If your Descendant falls into a Fire sign (you have an Air Ascendant), you probably happen to live or experience these patterns:
Your relationships are probably mostly passionate and fiery, but often only short-lived. The difficulty here is to maintain the flame, which can quickly become exhausting as the partner often demands a lot and gets bored easily.
This Descendant describes the adventurous and spontaneous partner.
Ideally, you are looking for someone who can ignite a fire within you and who doesn't think too much, goes on adventures with you, acts instead of just talking, even if that means that they may not take rules and appointments too seriously.
On the other hand, this can also attract particularly impulsive and hot-headed people. Unreliability and fickleness, as well as daring and boastful behavior certainly also occurs frequently.
Your ideal relationship is certainly full of energy and never monotonous.
Air: If your Descendant falls into an Air sign (you have a Fire Ascendant), you probably happen to live or experience these patterns:
Your relationships are probably often very superficial and casual. These people don't like to commit and prefer to be free and hate feeling caged.
Intelligence, individuality, and independence are particularly important in these relationships. You are likely to meet popular people who are easy to talk to and very social.
On the flip side, you are probably already used to not being able to rely on your counterpart. The character of these relationships is fleeting, open, and sometimes a little impersonal. Relationships come and go and are often really unpredictable.
These people and relationships are usually very head-driven, distant, and yet light on their feet. They like to tip-toe through difficult situations and make a run for it as soon as things get too serious.
Earth: If your Descendant falls into an Earth sign (you have a Water Ascendant), you probably happen to live or experience these patterns:
This Descendant describes the calm, relaxed, and down-to-earth partner. These are often introverted people but always do their own thing and know where they stand in life.
Reliability, loyalty, and faithfulness are always the most important topics in these relationships. But a certain toughness, especially during the search for a partner, often arises. Patience and time are the keywords here. Tradition and orderliness are topics that one can probably not escape with this Descendant. Whether is gives the relationship stability and brings you together or drives you apart is often something only time will tell.
They can sometimes be a little stubborn or cold, especially for people with a Water Ascendant this can be tough as affection and affirmation are very important to them. There is also the risk that these relationships may get stuck, since earth signs are people of habits and would rather suffer than change anything in their life. Getting out of these relationships might prove itself to be equally as hard as getting into one.
Water: If your Descendant falls into a Water sign (you have an Earth Ascendant), you probably happen to live or experience these patterns:
This Descendant describes the emotional, empathetic, and profound, but also very sensitive partner. This constellation usually creates the most deep and close relationships.
These relationships don't always have to be loud and adventurous, often it's a quiet merging of two people. Here it becomes particularly difficult if you try to get these two mixed liquids back into their original states.
Fusion and exclusivity are usually particularly important in these relationships. These people often have the highest expectations towards a relationship and would like everything to be like in a fairy tale. Nevertheless, these relationships are often characterized by uncertainties or, on the other hand, dependencies. Manipulation and only a difficult escape are often the dark side of these intimate and emotional relationships.
Try and compare your own DC with the AC of your close friends, contacts or someone you really like. Often you will find them to be in the same element.
Of course, like always in astrology, there is no black and white. You may find that you are looking for a mixture of some of these archetypes (good news here: everyone is a mixture of all these - it all depends on the distribution) or you may marry someone who does not fit into your "optimally described category" at all. This does not mean that divorce is near! As already mentioned, these are people and relationship patterns that we are used and therefore typically attracted to. The DC as an isolated indicator is not the only decisive factor here.
The most important thing in relationships, however, is that we must be careful not to project our own chart too much onto others. A closer look at the horoscope often reveals that we carry certain traits within ourselves that we unconsciously seek in others because we fear to live them ourselves.
Especially to people who describe themselves or certain traits as "unfit for relationships", I find it important to point out that such thing does not exist. Often, our idea of a perfect relationship is quite unrealistic, shaped by books and movies. It is important to ask oneself what makes a relationship perfect for oneself, and to depart from societal norms and ideals in order to make our relationships and our lives as happy and fulfilled as possible.